Yesterday, I was watching bland and uninspiring afternoon television when I came across this gem. My question: How did this poor man come across this, the most delicious ailment ever? The people who make Skittles have to be involved. No one just comes down with the Midas-touch of Skittles. I could see maybe coming down with a Midas-touch of gold, or ice or pudding, but certainly not a brand of manufactured little candies. The Skittles people were involved, mark my words, and they should be held accountable. They've basically seized this poor man's life. If there are more people afflicted, there could be a class-action lawsuit.
But in all seriousness, the tradeoff of not being able to hold your newborn son and having an inexhaustible supply of skittles is more than fair. I wonder if he just turns things to original skittles, or if there are tropical skittles in there, too. Maybe he can choose. That would win me over.