February 10, 2009

How to fight

Because you need to know this:

And to the crook out there who found my wallet and didn't return it to me: You are a bad man and now I am ready to fight you. I already canceled my credit cards and I get a new license when I turn 25 in two weeks anyway. You can keep the library card and the Blockbuster card and my Biggby Coffee rewards card and the 2007 Detroit Tigers schedule inside it. The only thing I want back is my college ID so I can still save money at the movies. You can't really use it unless you look like me. Which you might. If I were you and I looked like me, I'd use it. Good thing there were only $2 in it, not nearly enough to support your meth habit.

Edit: I got my wallet back today.


LBCarizona said...

I hope you learned fighting from this, which will make me unafraid of you. I'll show you where I learned fighting someday.

I'm also curious where you might've found that "stolen" wallet. Did you leave it under the seat in your car? Mine was folded into the crossword section of the RedEye, which was under a pair of jeans I never wear on the floor of my room. And I ran around telling people it was stolen, too.

Dan said...

Oh shoot, I forgot to tell you. I have your wallet. I got two more stamps on the Bigby card, and donated the $2 to the Value menu at Mcdonalds. I also sold the college id to a hobo that looked like you.