This is pizza delivery, not AAA.

Last night at work, some guy called and asked if I had a "one of those car chargers that jump dead batteries." I knew right where it was going.

I told him I didn't. He asked if anyone else did, and I said No, I didn't think so.

He told me to check.

So I checked. The other driver, Chris, was about to deliver a pizza (after all, that's what we do.) We asked him and he said no.

Phone guy asked me to drive down to him and give him a jump. I asked if he worked here, or if I knew him, because that was the only way any part of this would have seemed rational.

He said, "No, but I order from you religiously."

Now, most people don't realize this, but religiously ordering pizza from a particular establishment does not obligate that establishment to service your automobile.

I wanted to pass the buck. I told him I would ask the manager and I put him on hold.

Me: "Hey, Dave, this guy wants me to come down and give him a jump. Tell me it's illegal or we're liable or something and that I'm not allowed to."
Dave: "Who is it?"
Me: "I don't know him. He doesn't work here. He's just some guy who needs a jump. Just tell me I can't."
Dave: "Okay." He shrugged.

I picked up the phone. "We can't. We're not allowed to. We think it's illegal, and we'd be liable if anything happened." This is actually not far from the truth.

He started to tell me about his day, how he had a waterfall in his basement or something and that no one could fix that either, and some other stuff went wrong too. I don't doubt he might have had a horrible day. I felt for him a little. I told him I was sorry, and wished him luck.

And ten minutes later, my next delivery went right by his house.

So I put my sign in my trunk.