Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. It is the perfect holiday.

We gorge. We watch football. And it's always on a Thursday.

Thursday has nothing going for it, it's an unspectacular day. There isn't a whole lot to say about Thursday, and that's why it should get Thanksgiving. And. And! Because we put it on a Thursday, we get Friday off, too*! It's just not worth it to go into work on Friday. Friday is a bonus day. It's recovery day. A Thanksgiving wouldn't work on a Wednesday - we can't justify two bonus days. For the same reason, Tuesday is out of the question. Monday is outright, it doesn't deserve a holiday. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are already the weekend, and there's no reason to give a put a holiday on the weekend. So Thursday is the ideal day. We embrace the four-day weekend. And I can't find any historical reason why it's on Thursday other than Presidents generally decreed that it be on Thursday. And we know that if the President decrees it, it must be okay.

Also, the Lions get a Thanksgiving game to lose every year. As Lions fans, we get a chance to allow fans of other teams to enjoy a win.

Another good thing about Thanksgiving: It's pretty much the same meal every year. Turkey, Taters, stuffing, cranberries, pie. (Pie! I consider Pie to be a leader in the field of dessert innovation.) It's consistent. And, as far as I know, we pretty much all agree that it's a good meal. My mom has never screwed up thanksgiving. I can't remember ever having a good thanksgiving meal. There are plenty of options for the vegetarian crowd, too.

And don't come at me decrying the injustice of all of us gorging. We're supposed to do this. The NIV has 140 mentions of feasts. This, and I'm convinced God agrees, is a day for celebration and delicious food, without any guilt. People in the Bible party. We should too.

*78 percent of people get the day after Thanksgiving off. If you aren't one of them, I'm sorry. [link]